Strewth! Stonkered Sydney shonky, a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock, goes troppo in tank and trashes telecoms towers

An Aussie, John Patterson by name and 45 years by age, is a man with a big grudge against the lucky country's mobile phone companies. In the early hours of last Saturday morning, seemingly after some amber nectar and a toke or two of the green, green grass of home, the red mist duly descended on him. Thus he went to his workplace and stole a former British Army tank (that he had just spent the best part of a year helping to restore) and took it on a little trip around the western suburbs of Sydney bulldozing all the mobile phone masts he could find along the way. He didn't discriminate though. Mr. Patterson put the 1967 Trojan armoured personnel carrier through sites belonging to miscellaneous operators and infrastructure providers including Telstra, Optus, Crown Castle and Hutchison. He brought down four Telstra towers, "severely damaged" three Optus antenna sites and played merry hell with quite a bit of Crown Castle and Hutchison kit. As residents of western Sydney were roused from their slumbers by the sounds of a tank rumbling through the quiet suburban streets and telecoms towers crashing to the ground, the police were called and pursued the vehicle at a discreet distance as it careered along at 19 miles per hour. William Errington, who lives in Mount Druitt, one of the areas John Patterson visited in the wee small hours, laconically told the local media, "It wasn't something you see every day". The police eventually managed to approach the tank, when it stalled whilst being aimed at yet another base station, and seized the driver.